The Promise
Before and After x Elevation Worship & Maverick City
“‘Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!’”
Luke 1:45 (New International Version)
On April 19, 2022, I died.
Prior to handing my life away, my devotion belonged to golden idols my own hands had created. However, my worship of them became debilitating. I was depressed, anxiety became my reality, anger was my default, discontentment consumed me, dysfunction and confusion followed me— life was dark. On April 19, 2022, with the tiny bit of strength I had left, I looked up to my Abba. At that time, He felt further than Heaven.
But He was reachable once.
Despite my blatant disregard of Him, something in me reminded me of His immutability. There was a light bright enough to lead me to prayer amid the darkness. There was a nudge soft enough to lead me to believe He desired to hear from me. I cried out to Him, giving Him two options:
Show me where my life was headed or end the journey.
This was an insane request from a daughter who had just seen her Father move miraculously on her behalf a mere ten months prior. But idolatry perverted my purpose which He had spoken so clearly to me. Idolatry gave me the short memory of Israel, causing me to yearn for the things of my captivity a month after rejoicing through the split waters of the Red Sea. Idolatry robbed me of the capacity to bear the weight of what my spiritual eyes could see or what my spiritual ears could hear. I lived life blind and deaf— with misplaced faith and distorted identity— so I could worship my idols without conviction or limitation. My audacity came from a place of spiritual disability. I deliberately chose to close my eyes and cover my ears. Yet here I am, before the Giver of Life, blaming Him for my lack of sight and hearing. I amounted the life He gave me to the destruction I had experienced; indifferent to the truth that my pursuit of life diverged from His original plan.
Rightfully so, God didn’t entertain my ultimatum with a response. Instead, we rested in Holy silence. He wrapped His arms around me while I sobbed. I had spent many nights crying alone but this time felt different. With every tear that fell, a chain broke. These weren’t tears of enslavement but tears of freedom. He felt close again and with His proximity came deliverance from my pain. He brought forth light that wouldn’t only shine amid darkness but completely cast away all traces of darkness.
After some time had passed in His presence, I finally broke the silence. I told God that I would respond to my ultimatum for Him— the right decision would be to end the journey. However, not in the way I initially wanted Him to. Instead of physically returning to Him, I would do so spiritually; essentially putting my old ways on the cross to be crucified and ending the journey as I created it to be. God delighted in my response, affirming that He did not condemn me for my ultimatum. Rather, He intended to fulfill both requests. Since I have already chosen the latter for myself, He can go ahead and do the former.
So on April 19, 2022, I died. And on April 20, 2022, I decided to embark on a two-week fast. I asked a friend to lock me out of all my social media accounts. I set parameters around my food fast. I laid out clear prayer points and expectations by the power of the Holy Spirit.
I was determined to hear from God about the plans He had for my life and the next steps necessary to get there. However, I was foolish to believe He would immediately open the floodgates of insight and direction without preparing my heart to receive it.
Each morning, I would wake up at 5 AM and God would lead me to a random chapter in the book of Isaiah— which would prove not to be random at all. For the first half of my fast, God rebuked me left and right. He reminded me that He is the Lord and would not share His glory (Isaiah 42:8). He chastised me for knowing the right way yet still choosing to be disobedient (Isaiah 42:20). He lamented over my choice of disobedience, imparting that obedience brings forth rivers of peace (Isaiah 48:17-18). Lastly, He asserted that my present suffering was not only for refinement but for His glory as He will not sit idly by and allow His reputation to be tarnished by idols (Isaiah 48:10-11). I started each day with intense whiplash. But I received each strike with grace, understanding His stern correction was birthed from profound love. I believe this perspective shortened the period of rebuke because on day 6 of the fast, the Holy Spirit began to redirect me to Exodus. Specifically, chapters 7-13. However, He still did not reveal to me the specific instructions I asked for.
Instead, His message was, “Let it go.”
On April 25, 2022, I woke up to a nudge from the Holy Spirit. He wanted me to begin my devotional time praying into Psalm 38:9—
“You know what I long for, Lord. You hear my every sigh.”
This was a loving reminder to me, after an entire week of straight rebuke, that God still had my objectives in mind. That same morning, while I was getting ready for work, the Holy Spirit led me to a sermon by Tim Ross. Listening to sermons/podcasts is part of my morning routine so I didn’t find it unusual. However, this would be my first time tuning into Tim Ross delivering a sermon at his church, Embassy City. I had previously caught a sermon or two where he spoke at Transformation Church so I knew of him. But I wasn’t keeping up with his teachings or his church. This specific sermon was the first of the Make Room series, which happened to be nearly a year old at the point I listened to it.
As he preached, it felt as though he were speaking directly to me. Particularly so at the end when he began speaking prophetically. He called out to someone named Lesley. When he said, “Hi, Lesley,” I immediately heard the Holy Spirit say, “Stop what you’re doing, pay attention, and write down what he says. This is for you.”
Tim Ross’ words were:
“He knows you by name and He loves you. There is a boldness that is coming back to you. I don’t know how it left but it’s coming back to you. In the past, people have taken that boldness and tried to label it other things but God is saying, ‘I made you bold and courageous. I made you outspoken. I made you to speak out.’ What they said about you has never stuck to you.”
Here are the words to pay special attention to:
“90 days. I don’t even know what that means. But in the next 90 days, He’ll prove it.”
Like Tim Ross, I had no idea what these words meant. But I was obedient and wrote them down. I didn’t bother to ask God what they meant nor did He give me the space to ruminate on them before speaking another word.
“Let it go.”
I knew exactly what these words meant. He was referring to a relationship I had not gotten over. Though the relationship wasn’t healthy for either one of us, I refused to let him go. I was convinced he was the man I would marry. When I started the fast, we were broken up. But we had already separated and gotten back together so many times that reconciling was less of a distant hope and more of a close reality— a reality that would only be actualized if I refused to be obedient.
God’s word was not a request but a command. He wasn’t asking me to let this relationship go, He was ordering me to. Deep down, I wanted to be obedient but in my prayers, I played dumb.
“God, are You asking me to let this go…for right now?”
“God, what exactly are You asking me to release? Is it REALLY this?”
“God, I’ve ALREADY let this person go. We’re not together! Can You begin to reveal what else You want me to let go of?”
I thought I could fool God with these questions but these questions were only successful at exposing my unyielding heart. Which brings us to Exodus. Moses went to Pharaoh at least 10 times, telling him to let God’s people go. With each confrontation and each plague, the Holy Spirit would point me to Pharaoh and condemn my heart posture which mirrored his.
When I still wouldn’t obey, God continued to press in the message.
I went to a special service at church and a guest pastor delivered a sermon titled, “Let Go.” He sourced his words from Exodus and even led an altar call for those instructed by God to let go.
Yet and still, I refused. Yet and still, God persisted.
A couple of days later, I was at work and had been called to watch over another classroom while that teacher had to attend a quick meeting. This wasn’t a usual occurrence, especially since I was still fairly new to the job. But I obliged. Before leaving, she warned me that there was a child who tended to get rowdy. However, this child calms at the sound of her favorite song and will likely be replaying it for the remainder of the class.
The teacher leaves and the song plays:
“The snow glows white on the mountain tonight…Not a footprint to be seen…”
This child was listening to “Let It Go” from the movie Frozen! And she definitely replayed it— beginning to end. But not once. Not twice. Not three times. She replayed the song five times before the teacher returned to the classroom. I couldn’t do anything but sit there and listen to it with her.
In the Bible, the number five symbolizes God’s grace, kindness, and favor; embodying His will towards humans. It relates to the fifth letter in the Hebrew alphabet, Hei/He/Heh, which means “to look” or “to behold.” There are also five types of offerings or sacrifices that God commanded from the Israelites.
God was making a resounding statement with this trivial song.
That same afternoon, I went home and told God I would finally let go. I heard Him loud and clear. Once I made this decision, God spent the remainder of my fast teaching me how to dominate my thoughts with things of the kingdom. He wanted to fill this new void with things that were pure, holy, and righteous. He wanted to fill me with Him. Though it was difficult, I let Him. In my surrender, He led me back to Isaiah. This time, He reassured me of His trustworthy guidance and that He is the supplier of strength (Isaiah 58:11). He guaranteed to use the rubble of my past to rebuild and renovate my future (Isaiah 58:12 MSG). He also promised to be my delight and to completely satisfy me with my inheritance (Isaiah 58:14).
On day 13 of my fast, May 2, 2022, God delivered breakthrough unlike anything I had experienced. Before this moment, I was slightly disappointed with the outcome of the fast. However, I felt the Holy Spirit strongly in the words He said:
“I’ve been trying to make you let go because you can’t go to the Promised Land in bondage.”
He’s sending me to the Promised Land.
This fast fulfilled its purpose in that it enabled me to let go. God spent two weeks shedding me of devotion to idols, patterns, and people that were keeping me from enjoying my promise in its fullness. I knew where the Promised Land was as God had led me there eleven months prior. It was Washington, DC. I received a revelation during my 2 ½ months there that I had forgotten. But at this moment, God brought it back to my memory. The question now was, “when?” I had no intention of moving from my hometown, especially not immediately after completing my undergraduate degree and working as a teacher for only a few months. But God’s response was, “This wasn’t where I wanted you.”
During my fast, He brought me to Exodus, not only to highlight the heart of Pharaoh but to point out that the journey to the Promised Land was extended due to the Israelites’ disobedience. I had made my own plans and established myself based on what made sense. But it wasn’t where He wanted me. I was in the wrong city, I was in the wrong field, I wanted to go to the wrong places, I pursued the wrong things academically, I was around the wrong people— I prolonged my journey. The cloud had lifted and I was far behind.
God immediately led me to plan a life in Washington, DC. Within the month, job offers and acceptance letters rolled in. Once I had made my decisions, I announced the move to my friends and family. By the end of June 2022, I was touring apartments. On July 24, 2022, I announced my move to the entire congregation of my church.
Pay close attention to this date.
July 24, 2022, was day 90 from the day I heard Tim Ross deliver that prophetic word:
“90 days. I don’t even know what that means. But in the next 90 days, He’ll prove it.”
This was incredibly symbolic for many different reasons. My move-in date was set for July 28, 2022, and all of my belongings were packed. Even the U-Haul truck was reserved. But I didn’t have enough money to cover all my move-in costs. I was $500 short. I realized this on July 21, 2022. I didn’t feel peace about burdening anyone else with the weight of what God should’ve accounted for. This move was His idea after all. So once I realized the funds were short, I told God that if this move was what He truly wanted for me, then He would provide the $500 within a week.
I still went to church that Sunday. I still got on stage before the entire congregation and in the presence of my pastors. I still announced my move. By faith, I told everyone that I would be moving on July 28, 2022.
At the end of service, as I was about to return home, I received random gifts of $300 and $100 each from people in the congregation. When I got home later that afternoon, I received a Zelle notification. Someone else had sent me $500. Not only did God provide, but He provided in abundance.
In 90 days, He proved it to me.
He proved He had better plans for me. He proved He would lead me. He proved that He would provide. He proved that it was in His will for me to enter into the Promised Land.
I moved to Washington, DC on July 28, 2022, and have been in the DMV area ever since. I can’t even begin to describe the glory I’ve experienced since being here. It all started with a plea to a God that felt further than Heaven. Now here I am, experiencing Heaven on Earth with each passing day. I decided to die to myself and in my complete surrender, I found greater life. God opened my eyes to the direction of my life and walked the journey alongside me.
My entire story points to the faithfulness, love, and mercy of God. My story is written by God.
If you’re looking for another reason to believe that God writes the best stories, I have more evidence to share.
The last post on my blog’s Instagram page was uploaded on July 28, 2021. It was a random post because, by that point, I wasn’t posting consistently—if at all. But I felt led to detail the miracle I had experienced a month prior. In this post, I described the revelation God gave me about the Promised Land. A year later, on July 28, 2022, I would move to that place. I had no idea how close this promise was to being actualized. Nor did I know that exactly one year later, I would be living in deeper revelation.
I completely forgot about this post until July 28, 2023—two years to the day. It wasn’t until then that I uncovered yet another layer of God’s faithfulness in my story.
Long story short, I have seen the glory of God. By faith, I believe that I will see the glory of God in even more extraordinary ways.
I pray this testimony encourages you to take the limits off of God and encounter Him for yourself.
If you have read through this blog post and want to walk into the land of great promise but have yet to accept Christ as your personal Savior, I would like to offer you a simple prayer of salvation. All you have to do is recite this prayer with a genuine heart and you will be saved. Don’t let what you did yesterday, have plans to do today, or what you’ve been born into keep you from discovering life in Christ and eternity in Heaven. Just because you don’t see an example of promised glory in your past or present doesn’t mean it’s not in your future. God will not only bring you to a new land but also do a new work within you.
“God, I thank You because You are a God of promise. You consider me with unfailing love and with unending grace. You desire to bring me out of my darkness and into a place of light. You have stored for me a great inheritance and are waiting for my ‘yes’ to unleash Your hand of favor. There’s nothing I could do or could have done to deserve Your kindness. I’ve been lost in sin and wayward thinking but I make the decision today to be obedient to You and follow Your direction. I surrender my life to You and accept Christ as my personal Savior. I believe that Christ is the only way to access You. His sacrifice is the reason I can pray this prayer and it’s His spirit living in me that will lead me for eternity. I want to commit to His way and glorify Your name. Change me and renew me to be an inheritance worthy of the Lamb’s suffering. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.”
If you prayed that prayer, welcome home! Heaven has erupted in praise because of your “yes” to Jesus!
Please complete the form below to let me know of your decision. I want to celebrate with you and provide some resources that will guide your walk with Christ.
